I would like to start this blog post with a thank you to a very special friend of mine who has a true gift for listening. A couple of weeks ago I fell into one of my bouts of melancholy over the fact that I am a 28 year old single man who lives in a town with no apparent romantic options because the average age of the members of the opposite sex is dead. But seriously, those of you who know me can vouch for the fact that for the most part I am a person who enjoys life and is always there to give an encouraging word, laugh with a well told joke, or generally be a good friend. And though I am a confessed realist, I would say that I lean to the side of optimism instead of pessimism.
However, every now and then I look around me and see my friends with their spouses, or girlfriends and wonder to myself, why not me? It depresses me to think that I am a person with a lot of love to give and no one to give it to. Now I love my friends and I am very liberal with the love I have for them but that is a different kind of love. I want to know the kind of love that exists between two people who have become one. The kind that I see when my parents or grandparents look at each other.
The platitudes of it will happen when it happens sound more hollow to me the older that I get and it gets extremely frustrating because for all my bluster and realistic philosophy the truth of the matter is, I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I know that I am probably making more out of this than there actually is but this is how I feel sometimes, and I am not one who usually verbalizes feelings like this because of my masculine conditioning of internalizing such feelings.
Anyway I really just needed to vent. To my good friend again I say thank you for being able to listen to me when I do externalize these feelings and to all my other friends who read this blog, I am sorry I have not trusted you enough to tell you these things before. Hopefully you won't think less of me.
'Til we meet again.
Paul
1 comment:
You are most welcome my dear. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me your feelings, and I would never think less of you for doing so. You have and always will be one of my closest friends and listening to your feelings is not a gift, it's an honor if you really care about the person expressing them. Having friends like yourself, that's a gift. Love ya!
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